It has been a long time since my last post, and I wish I was coming at this one with a better attitude. I am not looking forward to Christmas for the first time in a while. I think the fact that we have been living on just enough money to get by for such a long time now is really wearing me down. I know that I shouldn't complain because we still have it so much better than so many other people, but it is difficult sometimes. I am more concerned about the kids. I want to be able to do things with them and for them to make Christmas special and memorable, but I feel like we don't have the resources to do that.
In the big scheme of things, this one Christmas will not matter much in comparison to all the other Christmases we spend together, but I don't want my kids to be disappointed. I know in my heart they won't be, I know that I am the only one who really cares. But it is frustrating and I just needed to vent. Ok, rant over now. I at least feel a little better.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Tragedy and Prayers
Today started as a regular day around here - Alfredo and I went to the gym, then came back home in time to get Donovan up and ready for school. I hunkered down to work on some homework, and was unaware of anything out of the ordinary until I got online to check Facebook. Today was the running of the Boston Marathon, and this afternoon, a few hours into the marathon, two bombs exploded near the finish line. As of right now, two people are reported dead (one of which is an 8-yr old boy) and over 100 are wounded. It hurts my heart to think of the horror the people involved have experienced, and of the heartache that will be felt by many.
Sometimes, when things like this happen I worry about the fate of the world. It is a terrifying thought to know that everything can change in the blink of an eye. The horrible things that happen make me question the wisdom of bringing not just one, but three children into this world. I don't ever want them to experience the pure evil and hatred that can be found in the hearts of others, and the thought that harm could come to them makes my heart hurt.
Then, I think about what would happen if everyone thought that way. What if we all just cowered in a corner, never daring to step outside because something bad might happen. If we hide away, then evil and hatred will win. Instead, it is up to us to continue to fight the forces of evil with goodness and love. No matter how scary life may be, it is up to me to raise children who desire to help others and do what they can to make this world a better place. One of my favorites quotes is "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." It is encouraging to know that for everyone who desires to harm there is someone else who desires to help. As a parent, it is my job to raise children who fall into the latter category. That is a job I don't take lightly and I pray to God everyday that I can do it justice.
As long as there is hope and love there is no way terror and hate can survive. Even though the events of today are heart-wrenching and horrific, it is uplifting to see how we all band together to support those who need it, and search for justice for those who have befallen harm. I pray for the parents of those hurt, and the families of those who lost loved ones today. I hope that God can give them peace in the coming days and I want them all to know that I am doing what I can to make sure that goodness will live on in this world. I want my children to be strong enough to stand up for what is right, cry out against injustice, and lend a hand to those in need. Above all, I hope that we never lose faith in humanity. Because when we lose faith in humanity, we lose faith in ourselves. And sometimes faith is all you have to get you through the dark days and into the light.
Sometimes, when things like this happen I worry about the fate of the world. It is a terrifying thought to know that everything can change in the blink of an eye. The horrible things that happen make me question the wisdom of bringing not just one, but three children into this world. I don't ever want them to experience the pure evil and hatred that can be found in the hearts of others, and the thought that harm could come to them makes my heart hurt.
Then, I think about what would happen if everyone thought that way. What if we all just cowered in a corner, never daring to step outside because something bad might happen. If we hide away, then evil and hatred will win. Instead, it is up to us to continue to fight the forces of evil with goodness and love. No matter how scary life may be, it is up to me to raise children who desire to help others and do what they can to make this world a better place. One of my favorites quotes is "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." It is encouraging to know that for everyone who desires to harm there is someone else who desires to help. As a parent, it is my job to raise children who fall into the latter category. That is a job I don't take lightly and I pray to God everyday that I can do it justice.
As long as there is hope and love there is no way terror and hate can survive. Even though the events of today are heart-wrenching and horrific, it is uplifting to see how we all band together to support those who need it, and search for justice for those who have befallen harm. I pray for the parents of those hurt, and the families of those who lost loved ones today. I hope that God can give them peace in the coming days and I want them all to know that I am doing what I can to make sure that goodness will live on in this world. I want my children to be strong enough to stand up for what is right, cry out against injustice, and lend a hand to those in need. Above all, I hope that we never lose faith in humanity. Because when we lose faith in humanity, we lose faith in ourselves. And sometimes faith is all you have to get you through the dark days and into the light.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Day 365
Well, I made it through my project of year-long thankfulness. It has not been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be, and I'm glad I decided to do this. I have found that over the year, I have made more of a conscious effort to appreciate what I have and I know that I have changed because of it. I am more apt to find the positives in things that happen, less likely to let things bother me, and just take life as it comes. I still have a long way to go - I still freak out sometimes and throw my little temper tantrums - but overall I am so much happier than I used to be. I used to wallow in self-pity and bad attitudes, and I am so much happier now.
Granted, nothing is perfect. There are things that I wish were different, but this past year has helped me to put some things into perspective. I am so appreciative and grateful for all the good things in my life, that the negative things don't matter as much any more. I'm proud of myself for making it an entire year.
Thank you to all of you who have read my entries. It's nice to know that I have the support and love of so many other people. I hope that maybe my project can encourage others to do the same. Life may get bad sometimes, but when you take the time to focus on the blessings, you realize that life is an amazing gift and we are all so lucky.
I hope that I can maintain my new-found attitude and continue to be grateful of everything wonderful in my life. I don't ever want to nurse bad attitudes or bad feelings about anything anymore. I want my kids to have an example of gratitude and happiness to look towards. I hope that I can teach them to focus on their blessings when things seem to be falling apart.
Thank you all for your support, and most of all, thank you God for blessing me with my beautiful family, a roof over my head, food to eat, and the ability to better myself to provide my children with a secure and happy life. May this coming year be even more amazing than the last!
Granted, nothing is perfect. There are things that I wish were different, but this past year has helped me to put some things into perspective. I am so appreciative and grateful for all the good things in my life, that the negative things don't matter as much any more. I'm proud of myself for making it an entire year.
Thank you to all of you who have read my entries. It's nice to know that I have the support and love of so many other people. I hope that maybe my project can encourage others to do the same. Life may get bad sometimes, but when you take the time to focus on the blessings, you realize that life is an amazing gift and we are all so lucky.
I hope that I can maintain my new-found attitude and continue to be grateful of everything wonderful in my life. I don't ever want to nurse bad attitudes or bad feelings about anything anymore. I want my kids to have an example of gratitude and happiness to look towards. I hope that I can teach them to focus on their blessings when things seem to be falling apart.
Thank you all for your support, and most of all, thank you God for blessing me with my beautiful family, a roof over my head, food to eat, and the ability to better myself to provide my children with a secure and happy life. May this coming year be even more amazing than the last!
Days 363 & 364
Saturday the kids and I went to visit our friend, Sarah. We haven't seen her in a long time so it was really nice to hang out for a little while and visit. She made us french toast, and gave the kids presents. I miss seeing her all the time, and she really cares about all of my little monkeys. It is few and far between to find such a good friend, and I'm so thankful that we got to spend some time with her.
Sunday I decided to just have a nice, lazy day with the kiddos. We stayed home from church, hung out in our pajamas, and had blue-colored pancakes. I love my kids, and while they can be a handful, I know how fast they are growing, and how few opportunities I have to really just hang out with them and do nothing. I'm glad I got the opportunity before school starts up again.
Sunday I decided to just have a nice, lazy day with the kiddos. We stayed home from church, hung out in our pajamas, and had blue-colored pancakes. I love my kids, and while they can be a handful, I know how fast they are growing, and how few opportunities I have to really just hang out with them and do nothing. I'm glad I got the opportunity before school starts up again.
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