Family

So, I'm sitting in my house enjoying the silence while at the same time I am hating the silence. My mom came to take the boys for a visit for a few days and I go back and forth between serenity and anxiousness. It is almost constant chaos when the boys are home, but at the same time they are so much fun and have such amazing little personalities that I hate to miss a minute of them.

However, above and beyond all that, I am so grateful that my boys live close enough to be able to visit and get to know both sets of their grandparents. I never had grandparents close enough that I was really able to spend time with them and get to know them. The most I ever got was the occasional summer, spring break, or Christmas visit. I am so happy that my boys are able to see their grandparents regularly, and I am grateful that their grandparents are willing to let them come visit. But it means the most to me that their grandparents want to get to know all the wonderfulness that are Donovan and Giovanni. Yes, they can be loud and messy, they get into everything, throw their food on the floor, fight, scream, and love saying the word no, but they are also smart and funny, sweet, give amazing hugs, love reading books with me, and make me smile at least a thousand times a day.

Amazing boys, with amazing grandparents and it just reminds me how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family. Yes we can all be loud and messy, we fight, scream, etc., but we are also funny, sweet, and give amazing hugs. I am so glad that my boys get to be a part of that, and that they have grandparents who want to be a part of my boys' lives as well.

Blessed and Terrified

I was making dinner earlier tonight and could hear my boys playing together in the other room. It hit me how amazingly blessed I am to have such incredible little people in my life. They are rambunctious and stubborn and they drive me crazy sometimes, but they are adorable and smart and funny and I would do anything for those two boys. And then I am hit with the realization that they are in fact people. I have been given the awesome responsibility of molding the lives of two people. I have a few short years to mold them and set their little feet onto the correct path. Granted, they will soon be making their own decisions in life, but it is up to me now to provide them with the correct guidance and instill in them good morals, work ethics, thoughtfulness, manners, etc., that will carry them throughout their entire lives. There is a dichotomy of wanting to shield them from the bad things in life, and yet making sure they are strong enough to handle the challenges they will face. I want them to be happy always, but I don't want them to think life is easy. I want to provide them with everything they could ever need, but I don't want them to think that they will be handed whatever they want in life without ever having to work hard. Most of all, I want to instill in them a love for God and a good sense of right and wrong, but I don't want them to think they can't come to me when they mess up and make a poor decision.
I love my little boys more than I ever thought possible and I wake up grateful every single day that God felt I was worthy to be their mother. I am so blessed and yet I am not taking this blessing for granted. I know it is a tremendous responsiblity and I hope that I, with all my faults and shortcomings, can rise to the occassion and shape these little boys into wonderful men who someday will contribute great things to society and maybe one day be responsible for their own little people.

Lessons From School

So, here I am sitting in front of my computer, when I should be tackling the mountain of housework that needs to be done. I am glad I have the day off from work, though. It is such a beautiful morning, that it seems like such a shame to waste it inside, but there is so much to be done. And yet, I still sit in front of my computer.

I have gotten my school work done for the day, which is good. I am off to a bumpy start in my history class and I was getting quite discouraged. I had quite a few points docked off my first couple of assignments, and was not sure what I was doing wrong. A couple other issues were bothering me as well, and I finally took my concerns to my instructor. I think we might be on the same wavelength, and in the meantime, I realized that what was really bothering me was the fact that my 4.0 might be ruined because of this class. I am currently getting a B, which is a very respectable grade, but it's not an A and I realized that was the core of my issues. I finally accepted that I need to let go of my pride, and in the big scheme of things, my 4.0 is really not that important. Five years from now, no one will care whether I had straight As, or As and Bs.

I also realized that I will come across a lot of people that will be difficult to please and the main thing is that I keep a positive attitude and do my best. That is really all I can do. And if I am confident in the fact that I have put my best effort forward I can take pride in that, and not worry about the grade that might come along with it.

Anyway, off I go now to do more domestic things. Until next time!

Natalie

My First Post

So, this is officially my first post on my new blog. Not that I don't already have enough to do, but I think that maybe having a place to write down my thoughts will help me to keep everything under control in my head.
I just got off the phone with a lady from a preschool that I am looking to get Donovan enrolled in. That is if we can master the potty training first. Just one more thing to add to my list. He is already talking about going to school, so hopefully that will be a good motivator for him. We'll see!
Right now, I am just trying to get the house under control. The boys and I just got back from Costco and now they are eating, and I need to go put things away, do the dishes, straighten the house, etc. Mommy's work is never done.
So, off I go to do more stuff and hopefully retain my sanity until next time!

Natalie